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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Invisible Illness Week

Diabetes, it truly is an invisible illness.  I look okay on the outside.  You can’t tell that I’m feeling like hell when my blood sugar is too high or low.  Truthfully, at least one or the other happens frequently.  I try to stay in that “normal” golden range, but it is a seriously small range.   Finding balance is important, but it’s hard to act as one of your internal organs accurately…I often find myself wondering “What would Pancreas do?”  Ah the things he'd say if he were here.

 
For example:  Here Pancreas would say to me “Well played Nitwit!”.  Yes, I see my Pancreas as snarkily sarcastic.



 
Here he would say:  “WTF?” and probably use both my first and middle name.  I would quickly remind him that he left town and that he needs to act up or shut up. 

It’s every moment of every day.  Even preparing to sleep takes a great deal of thought so that I don’t go dangerously low or high while I sleep.  I take five or six shots a day.  Sometimes though, it’s MORE.  It’s never ever LESS of course, because Type 1 diabetics never get a day off from shots and blood sugar tests.  When I get sick I need even more insulin, I need even more blood tests.  When I’m sick, I feel like diabetes is flipping me off…Big time.    

Unless you live with me or go out to eat with me, chances are, you never see me pull out my little glass vial of life saving liquid and my trusty syringe.  You don’t see me pause to test my blood sugars up to eight times a day because it’s very personal and I don’t love an audience when I do it.  To clarify, I’m not ashamed.  I just don’t always feel like sharing.  You may not see what a serious illness I have. 

(Yes, I am re-using some of my previous pics, thought they fit well with this subject.)
I’m thankful to have my blog.  Your comments and support, and the therapy of writing, gives me a huge sense of comfort while I’m dealing with diabetes.  I’m thankful for my shots, my meter, and my patient family that magically knows when I’m high or low based on my mood.  I am thankful to have you all, my dear blog family.  Please know, we are in this together, I feel you.   XOXO

7 comments:

  1. I am soooo happy to have you too Meagan. Your blog and your support are felt throughout the DOC. I am a better support to Joe through knowing you. xo

    BTW, you are GORGEOUS!

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  2. I think my Pancreas is sarcastic most of the time too! Great post and lovely pics :) x

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  3. I loved this part, "it’s very personal and I don’t love an audience when I do it. To clarify, I’m not ashamed. I just don’t always feel like sharing." I feel the exact same way. When I dismiss myself from a public area to go to a bathroom or someplace not so out in the open to do these things, my family will tell me to just do it right here, who cares, but I feel it is very personal, and I don't want an audience it's more about me not wanting to share than caring what others think. I knew how I felt I just didn't know how to say it and you said it perfectly.

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  4. Its truly invisible, I mean to look at you are so pretty, strong and healthy. Who would suspect how all per vading diabetes is in your life, when the pancreas checks out. I hate we met because of type 1, but so glad we did xx

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  5. Reyna said it, you ARE gorgeous :) Love this post :D Glad to know ya!

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  6. Hi Meagan,

    Glad to see you sharing your experiences. I can see many people can relate.

    I was wondering if you would you be interested in sharing your articles with other like-minded bloggers who cover topics related to living with diabetes. We are building a community on our website containing links to informative articles about the issues that are relevant to individuals involved in the diabetic community.

    If you are interested and want to learn more about this, please send an email to info@atomicreach.com

    Thanks,
    Anne

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