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Thursday, May 12, 2011

Ten Things I Hate About You, Diabetes D-Blog Week

Ten Things I Hate About You, Diabetes
2011: Day 4 D-Blog Week
1.      You made me feel defective.  I was embarrassed and ashamed of you and I started hating myself.  I felt weak and helpless.  Who knew you’d end up proving how strong I am?
2.     You hurt my loved ones.  You know my dad?  The football player-esque guy with the – don’t mess with me persona?  You made him crumble at my diagnosis.  He cried for the first time I can recall.  He said he wished he could take you instead of me.  It ripped him apart to watch you invade his daughter, but he was helpless.  You don’t make deals. 
3.    You cause me pain.  A lot of it. 
4.    You make me wonder.  Make me overanalyze every stupid little patch of dry skin, every funny little eye twitch, and every sharp pain in my toes.  You. Haunt. Me.
5.    You make it ridiculously difficult to lose weight.  Thanks for throwing those un-explained lows in there…that caused me to eat EVERYTHING in the house.  The “I’m not hungry” option doesn’t fly when you have diabetes and craploads of insulin in your system.    
6.    Ever since you and Glucagon spent that wild night together, I’ve been scared to sleep.  You made me seize, and lose consciousness.  I had to have total strangers rescue me.  The side of my tongue is still scarred from that night, all that pain and all that blood. 
7.    You want to take me away too young.  I am aware that, if I let you, you’ll rob me of my long life.  I want to grow old with my husband.  I want to watch my sons grow into less worrisome creatures.  Less worrisome creatures that have awesome kids and wives.  I. Want. To. Be. There.
8.    You didn’t come with any FREAKING instructions!  This diabetes product I got doesn’t work right, way too many kinks.  I’m SO calling customer service.  
9.    You invade Kids.  How could you?  They are just kids!  You are like the Boogeyman, creeping up when no one is looking.  You take away childhoods, cause discrimination, cut dreams short.  I get too angry thinking about this one.  Can’t continue.
10.  You nearly killed me.  More than once, I almost lost my life because of you.  I will not cower again.  I will not hide.  I will battle you.  I will work to spread awareness and empower others struggling with diabetes.  We. Will. Fight.

6 comments:

  1. Awesome post - very hard to read from a mom's perspective, but I get everything you're saying. Especially the part about not coming with instructions. Are there any other illnesses where the treatment is total guesswork?

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  2. Hey sister. Thanks for the comments. I love meeting new people and will check out your blog when the whirlwind settles.

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  3. Great post! I agree about the instructions. When my daughter was diagnosed, she was in the hospital for 5 days. 5 days was not enough time for me to learn everything I had to know! I needed more instructions. 6 years later and I STILL need more instructions.

    Great job on the list. I agree with it all.

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  4. Very heartfelt post. I am so touched by your strength. We are in this fight together!!!!!!!!

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  5. Perfect Post. So raw and true. I am so sorry you have had some very serious and painful experiences where you remember times you didn't know if you'd make it. You seem so strong and it's people like you, you make us other T1's work harder. Thank you for your post!!!

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  6. Sorry all - I really loved your comments, but Blogger went wonky and erased them all. Thanks for the support and kind words!!!

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